The term “dominance” incites a plethora of connotations in the average person’s mind, most of these images being of a sexual or animal nature. However, dominance is not simply a title employed in sexual play… the secret of true dominance extends far beyond the bedroom, and is not limited only to one who chooses to employ that particular distinction in a perceptible manner.
“Dominance games” are shallow tactics employed by those who beat their chests like primates at a zoo, vying for the illusion of obligatory dominance over another party. These petty ploys for power are commonplace among the populace, as the majority of human beings care more for the recognition of their dominance than they do about actually leveraging true power over a situation. These gaudy attempts at grandstanding forced power are overt and invariably cause strife among those with the misfortune of being a part of the experience, and those who try to leverage influence in this manner incur invariable and explicit resistance from those the person is trying to dominate.
It seems the stereotypical interpretation of a dominant person is based primarily upon those who succumb to these tasteless contests. To many, the dominant person is someone who is almost brutish in applying force, obliging compliance from those around him by sheer power of will. But this is a grossly limiting assumption. A truly dominant person is actually unbound by conventional interpretation, as he can assume a role based not upon which role has the appearance of carrying more weight, but instead based upon which role is more useful for his purposes. A person skilled in employing dominance understands that power is employed in variations of hues and can leverage the advantages of control from any position they may be in at the time. In spite of the fact that this form of true dominance is a much more profitable path in the long run, most people do not want to go to the concerted effort that is required in order to exert true and lasting influence over a situation, because it takes calculation, insight and forethought.
To exert true power over a situation, person, or group of people requires that the person wishing to leverage that power evaluate the specific climate among those involved in the circumstances in question, reading the people involved and knowing not what they say they want, but instead what they truly want to gain from the exchange. The goal of the truly dominant person, then, is to give the person the impression they have received that which they desire and gain the confidence and trust of those people. This will earn the respect of the others involved, and they will then look to that person again for insight and guidance, building this truly dominant person’s influence, regardless of the position that person holds on paper.
Once this base of trust is established from the parties involved, this person will likely have the option of taking a level of overt power if he so chooses, as the transition from a less visible position to one of more visible power will be viewed by the other party or parties as a “natural” one. At the proper stage, this transition will be accepted smoothly and with very little (if any) resistance.
Like the contrived and careful movements of a cat stalking its prey, one with real control knows when and which buttons to push from nearly any situation he lands in to exert true authority. The truly dominant person is a wise predator, knowing who to influence and how to exert that influence in order to create a result in his ultimate favor, avoiding garish games in favor of subtle, more binding influence. True power lies in this skill of leverage, and the truly powerful will employ it regularly and to their continual advantage.
Copyright 2005 S.L. Olson
